Ten Lessons I Learned in 2024
Written By Courtney Psenicka
Happy New Year, Friends!
I’ve been struggling with what to write for this week’s newsletter. As a bit of a perfectionist, I wanted to kick off the new year with a bang. I had grand plans to share the “perfect” way to set goals, but honestly, it all felt a little cliché. Then, a bout of illness hit our house, and suddenly, motivation was nowhere to be found. All I’ve wanted to do in my free time is curl up in bed with some tea and my beloved Kindle.
This morning, as I finally made my way into the living room (after my daughter refused to let me sleep in!), I looked out the window to see soft snowflakes gently falling, covering the grass in a blanket of white. And in that quiet moment, a thought occurred to me: Winter is a time for turning inward. It’s a season for reflection, for slowing down, for cozying up with a good book or making soup. When I think of setting goals, I think of spring—of fresh starts. So, instead of focusing on resolutions this January 1st, I’ve decided to reflect on the top lessons 2024 has taught me instead.
1. Let Them Make a Mess
They’re only little once. Let them mix the playdough, eat Goldfish on the couch, take all their stuffed animals out of their carefully chosen spots in the basket, or play with the potato peels while you're cooking dinner. Someday, they’ll be grown and on their own, and your house will stay spotless day after day. But to me, a house becomes a home when it's lived in.
Yes, cleaning feels good, and having a tidy space can be a nice reset—but that reset can happen at the end of the day, tomorrow, or even at the end of the week. You can carve out a cleaning day, or even just an hour a day, to teach your kids how to keep a home tidy. But there’s true beauty in an eclectic home—a home filled with random pictures on the walls, bookshelves that mix Bibles, children’s stories, and romance novels, floors scattered with blocks, and kitchens dotted with tiny fingerprints on the fridge. Crayon marks on the floor, bath toys floating in the tub. Decor gathered from thrift stores and placed in a way that feels comforting to you.
When your kids are grown, they won’t remember how clean the house was—they’ll remember the memories you made together in it.
2. Feelings Are Fleeting—Good and Bad
This year may have been tough. Maybe you lost your job, a loved one, or simply felt like you couldn’t catch a break. Or maybe, it was an amazing year—perhaps you got married, had your first child, or traveled the world. Or maybe, like me, it was a mix of both.
No matter what you’re feeling today as you reflect on 2024 and look ahead to a new chapter, remember this: emotions are fleeting. They are not permanent. So if you’re happy, soak it in. Be truly present in those moments and focus on what makes them so good. And if you’re struggling or feeling like "when it rains, it pours," know that this, too, shall pass.
For me, 2024 was both one of my best years and one of my hardest. I experienced immense joy, but I also faced deep moments of sadness and loss. Yet, here I am, entering a new year knowing that all of it—the highs and the lows—came and went. Our lives are simply a sum of experiences, and the beauty in that is that nothing lasts forever.
So, hold on tightly to the good, and know that if things are hard right now, they won’t be hard forever.
3. There’s a Difference Between Being Rude and Being Assertive
In today's society, it sometimes feels like people have become more rude and entitled. For those of us who are people-pleasers, it can be tempting to just “shut up and take it,” so to speak. But there is a clear difference between being rude and standing up for yourself or what’s right. It’s perfectly okay to set boundaries for yourself and your family—and to stand firm in them. Even if that means doing so with people you love, because if they truly care about you, they will respect those boundaries.
We are given our voices for a reason—to speak up. For me, becoming a mom has made it easier to be assertive when needed, but also to know when it’s okay to stay quiet. Some things don’t require a response, but others clearly do. As we set an example for our children, it’s important to show them that their voice matters and that there’s a right and wrong way to conduct ourselves in this world. Though much of society seems to have forgotten this, it’s our job to teach them just how important it really is.
4. God is Good All the Time
Whether you're religious or not, there’s something beautiful about believing in something greater than ourselves. Looking back at the trials I’ve faced in my life, I can see how God has always been there, guiding me with purpose or teaching me valuable lessons. When I truly allow Him to work in my life, I always find my way to the light.
Personal faith is so important. I was raised in a strictly Catholic family, and while I identify as Christian, attending Catholic Mass never gave me a true sense of connection with God. The moments of real connection have come from reading the Bible on my own terms, learning from others, and finding a deeper reason to practice my faith beyond simply doing "the right thing." If we want our children to not only know God but also desire a personal relationship with Him, it's crucial that we cultivate that relationship ourselves first.
5. Our Kids Don’t Need Perfect, They Need Our Best
When you bring your baby home from the hospital, they don’t exactly hand you a parenting manual. They show you how to change a diaper, strap them into the car seat, and then send you on your way. In today’s world of social media and perfectly curated content, it’s easy to feel like what you're doing isn’t enough. God forbid you have a tough day and don’t set up an elaborate sensory bin or activity.
The truth is, our kids don’t need us to be perfect. What they really crave is a relationship with us. They want to be involved in our lives, to learn alongside us—whatever that looks like. Some days, your best might be setting up a fun craft to do together, but other days, it might look like sitting on the couch watching Bluey, sipping tea, and trying to nurse yourself back to health.
Our kids won’t remember all our mistakes; what they’ll remember is how we handle them. So, if you lost your cool with your teenager today, don’t just shake it off and move on. Be open with them. Tell them, “Hey, I had a rough day, and I lost my cool. I’m sorry. That’s not how I should’ve responded.” We’re human too, and it’s important for them to see that.
You’ll make mistakes and sometimes wish you’d done things differently. But each day is a new opportunity to start fresh. And I promise, if your intentions are good, they’ll see that and love you for it. You are their world, and if you’re worried about being perfect, chances are, you're already doing your best simply by wanting to do better.
6. Comparison Corrupts Contentment
The internet, social media, Pinterest, Instagram—these platforms have brought some incredible benefits to our world. They've allowed us to connect, find inspiration, share ideas, and express our creativity. But they've also created a whole lot of unrealistic expectations. It’s easy to scroll through a mom influencer’s page with her perfectly styled house, curated morning vlogs, and think, “Wow, she’s doing it all. Her makeup is done at 6:30 AM, and she’s making homemade waffles and smoothies for her kids.” Meanwhile, you’re covered in baby vomit, feeding your toddler leftover fruit and a piece of toast.
Now, I’m not here to bash the mom who’s up early and starting her day off productive—huge applause to her. But it’s important to remember that comparing our everyday lives to carefully curated content can really steal our joy. Most of the people we see online don’t share the messy days. They don’t show the mornings when they’re covered in baby vomit or the times their entire household is hit with a stomach virus.
Comparing your life to what others post online will only rob you of your own peace and contentment. It’s perfectly okay if your bed is unmade right now. It’s perfectly okay if you didn’t have the energy to make eggs for breakfast and your kid’s eating cereal. As we discussed in lesson #5, our best looks different every day. What matters most is that we enjoy our lives and live them on our own terms—not because others are doing it a certain way.
7. Small, Consistent Action is Better Than Diving Headfirst into Big Change Without Consistency
Okay, I guess this ties into goal-setting a bit. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since becoming a mother, it’s that you simply don’t have the time to sit down and overhaul your entire life in one go. But you can make meaningful progress in the car, on the go, or while your baby is napping. Let me explain.
If I set aside two hours a day to work on a project, I might only actually get around to it once a week. But, if I break it into smaller tasks and work on them in little pockets of time throughout the day, I’m more likely to stay consistent and make real progress. In simpler terms: working on something a little bit every day is more effective than diving in full force, then never touching it again.
It’s okay to set deadlines and then re-evaluate when needed. Setting realistic expectations is key to moving forward. For example, instead of sitting down to write an entire newsletter in one sitting, I tackle it in smaller chunks. I write a paragraph here and there, or if I’m waiting for an appointment, I jot down ideas in my notes app. This method keeps me engaged with my goals, without the pressure of unrealistic expectations or needing designated work time every single day.
8. We Never Know How Much Time is On Our Clock
Okay, this one’s a little morbid, but it’s true: we never know when our time will come. Maybe I’ll get in a car accident tomorrow, or maybe I’ll live to a peaceful 102, surrounded by loved ones. We simply can’t know. So, instead of leaving a conversation or a situation with anger, try to resolve the conflict. Reflect on your actions rather than placing all the blame on others (unless they truly are to blame). Conflict is rarely one-sided.
Listen to your heart, and follow what it’s telling you. If you have a dream, chase it—no matter what others think. Live the life YOU want to live, not the one others expect from you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Make your wants and needs known. Always lead with love and kindness.
If you hate your job, even though it pays well, quit. You can’t take the money with you when you’re gone. Spend your life doing what you love, so when the time comes, you can say you lived a fulfilling life. Hug your loved ones always, because you never know when it could be the last time. I’ve lost people this year, and I’ve watched others lose loved ones unexpectedly. So hug tightly, tell people how you feel, and never leave with regrets.
9. Materialistic Things Don’t Matter
I’m a self-proclaimed shopaholic. There’s nothing quite like the serotonin boost that comes from seeing the “Thanks for your order” screen after making a purchase. But, when I take a step back and reflect, I realize that when it comes down to it, I won’t remember all the things I’ve bought.
This year, I’ve made a serious effort to improve my finances—less fancy coffee runs, more coffee at home. Beyond just the financial impact of those spontaneous purchases, I’ve noticed how quickly the excitement of buying things fades. What doesn’t lose its excitement, however, are the moments that truly matter: doing a random act of kindness for a stranger, making your child laugh uncontrollably, being a shoulder to cry on for a friend. Or even holding onto meaningful heirlooms—like an old Atlas signed by a distant relative—that spark a curiosity to dive into your family history.
Our lives are made up of so much more than “stuff.” I’m not saying material things aren’t fun; I’m all for buying quality staples that last. But, ultimately, stuff isn’t as important as substance—our experiences, our relationships, and what we bring to others
10. Grace Costs Us Nothing
I can’t take credit for this line—I recently read it in a book that made me ball my eyes out. But it’s a phrase I’ll carry with me for life. Extending kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding to others doesn’t require any personal sacrifice. Simply put, we lose nothing when we offer these things to those around us.
In a world so often filled with hate, sadness, sin, violence, and a lack of empathy, extending grace to others—and to myself—is something I take great pride in. It’s a lesson I want to teach my kids. Regardless of your personal stance on a situation or the people around you, offering grace costs us nothing. Extending kindness to others—whether you agree with them or not—will always lead to a better outcome.
And remember, grace is not the same as agreement. Grace is favor, kindness, and mercy toward humanity.
And there you have it—my top 10 lessons from this year. Honestly, this feels more meaningful to me than any list of New Year’s goals I could write. While I’m a huge believer in goal-setting (and I’ll definitely dive deep into that as winter comes to a close), I’m choosing to spend the rest of this season reflecting on the year I’m leaving behind—the highs and the lows. Letting these lessons sink into my heart, knowing that one day, I’ll share this wisdom with my grandkids (though for now, you get to hear it from a 25-year-old!).
As I reflect on my own year, I hope this has inspired you to pause and reflect on yours as well. What lessons have you learned this year? If it’s been a tough one, what can you carry with you into the next chapter—and what can you leave behind? How can you extend grace to yourself as we move forward into 2025?
Happy New Year, friends. May this year bring you peace, joy, and nothing but blessings.
With love and gratitude,
The Mindful Mom
These are lessons well learned and hard to confront. Well written, well said and well done!
Looking so forward to seeing your year play out, great article!❤️